Brain Waves

Sharon Rose

Recent Posts

  • Eggshells

    My cousin had a lot to say to me over New Year’s Eve at that snowy mountain mansion. The same Green Mountains that fostered my healing became a pit of snakes the second I walked through the all-too-familiar door of my aunt’s home.

    Two things I learned from hearing about myself from someone who watched a forest fire from the news station, and deduced he knew the accelerant. One, I am truly a stranger to my own family. And two, I don’t have to believe the lies they tell about me.

    Sure, there was once what felt like great love in this circle, a circle I recently found myself in the center of. Strapped to the stakes of their punishment, the pitchforks bounced up and down.

    Telling him I’d do it all over again if it brought me to where I am today shocked him; it was written on his face. Reminding him that although he may think he’s moved on from shattered pieces of his own family, froze his face further.

    I know, it’s hard to move on from the pain that we’ve caused one another. It’s the hurt that makes us lash out in anger and say things we don’t mean. I’ve been there.

    Maybe one day they’ll realize that the hurt they tried to cause by stonewalling, dramatic exits, whispering behind me, and giving me glares of disappointment was actually just their projected pain. They’re hurt, but not by what they think.

    They’re hurt that things are seemingly broken. There is no clear way through. That accountability will always be the first step. That even though we may leave, the love stays. I saw it in his face, the love that has still stayed. Not for me, but for another, something he didn’t notice he had projected directly onto me.

  • I Am

    I sometimes wonder where I could be had I not lit a match and set it all on fire. What would my life look like had I stayed and swept up the dirt that had become caked onto the floor, an endless task it was, lying to myself about my own happiness.

    Change is hard, frightening even. But what if you don’t set out on the path of being honest with yourself? How does one become a better person? How would you realize where the cracks are if you’ve decided to pretend they don’t exist?

    Peace. It’s all I really needed to become who I am. It’s as if the quake that created all that rubble destroyed a wall I had built. One that protected me from feeling. I can’t imagine picking up the bricks to put them back together. I like it here in the open, where I am me.

    Love didn’t evade me; it found me in a form I never expected. Love, like when I look at my children. Love from the women I’ve made my family. And love, from a man who met me here, where I am.

    I sit here in this armchair, one I’ve cried so many nights in, and find myself grateful. Grateful it all fell apart, grateful I became lost, grateful I found madness, and in turn found myself.

    What’s next, I wonder? I hope it includes the ones I love, with one of them finally being me.

  • Prompt:

    What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

    Bog Witch

  • Author Site

    https://authorsharonrose.com/

  • www.linkedin.com/company/sharon-rose-author/

  • Blogging was a journey

    I started this blog at the start of the new year, as an outlet to close a chapter in my life. For everyone who supported the blog I give thanks. As I move my writing to other avenues, I hope to reach more with my words.

    Below is the link to my new site:

    Home

  • Air

    I smelled the freshness

    Warm summer days are coming

    My windows are all open