It’s been some time since pain has brought me to tears. I must admit, while holding onto the throbbing left side of my face, it got me thinking: Where are my other exposed nerves?

Here’s one. Like the shooting fire going across my cheek, the tension can sometimes be cut with a knife. I don’t mind it at all. In fact, it helps me see where my triggers are. How can I move on and grow if I keep reacting the same way I always have?

I may have a constant stabbing in my face for the moment, but it’s nothing compared to the constant stabbing of knowing that you’ve been forsaken by those who were meant to be your biggest support.

I let go of the notion that things will ever heal, but I’d like to think that someday the toothache of having to validate my existence to those who brought me here for an ounce of love would end. Probably not, and that’s okay too.

I guess that’s part of growth. Knowing what you can control, which is only you, how you act, interact, and react. I think I’ll keep my energy, snuggly tucked away in my enormous pouch of self-love.