That sinking feeling in your chest as your mind wanders to those who you wished would have shown up for you, as someone who loves you should. It’s painful, no one talks about the physicality of it. First time I felt that pain I was little.

I remember feeling that way as my father looked at me in disgust. I remember feeling that way when my mother pointed her finger at me in rage, when I was disregarded as a human being.

It’s likely that this isn’t the last time those aches will enter my chest. If I plan to live there’s no doubt I will align with people who will make me feel this way again. What is the cost of loving someone?

My heart breaks, only to be rebuilt. Each time I feel it, that sorrow and agony cascading through me, I’m reminded how strong I am. I hold power in my aptitude to be with myself. I do not need a soul, other than my own.

I have been told that I make it look easy, walking away from those I love. Maybe it looks that way because I have mastered the art of alchemy.

I take my pain, and I turn it into lessons. What can I learn from those who have hurt me? How can I better understand myself through the way in which I allowed them to enter my energy? It’s my way of growth and evolution.

If anything, heartbreak is no stranger to me, and I am grateful for it.