When they say growth is painful, I wish they were more brutally honest about the discomfort that really occurs. The stages of grief aren’t for you, they’re for everyone else, because you’re about to die. The old you that is.

I suppose my old self is partially decomposed in that forest where I left her, and her ridiculous ego. Like walking through a fun house, I saw every version of myself, reflected off of everyone I have ever known.

Who was that person who caused such chaos, elation, pain, and love? It’s not the version I wish to be. Before I went forward, I had to shed my skin.

What is past the Sharon who carries abandonment in her back pocket? Why does it cause her to run? How about the girl who scorches earth so she can feel something, even if it’s just pain? Why not give in to the intrusive thoughts and see how far down the rabbit hole I can go before the entire world implodes before me?

She really hated herself.

As much as I would like to run from the shadows I hold, they’re my key to evolving. Looking at everything means seeing myself for the first time. All of me.

That was the hardest part.

I feel lighter, like a weight has lifted from me. I still have more to shed, but the universe keeps testing me, to make sure I’m still on track. I appreciate the challenges.

Knowing isn’t knowing. We’re never done growing. Just keep going.