I need to think straight. Right now I’m thinking sideways. There’s a mountain I just chased a co-worker of mine around on. She’s fast, or maybe I’m just slow.

I couldn’t help but think out loud about the fact that I may not be as good a person as I’d like to portray myself as. I’ve done some hurtful things.

I wonder how long it will take me to recoil from the box this time. The box, where I put my feelings while I sort this all out. I love the box, it’s been my greatest ally for as long as I can remember. But really, it’s my nemesis.

The box is large, it can hold a lot. I’d like to think that it’s secure like a bank vault. When I’m afraid to feel something I put it in the box. Why? Probably because it’s never been safe to feel. Is it safe to feel yet?

The problem with the box, aside from the obvious repression, is that it places my feelings for others in there as well. I forget what matters. I end up hurting people.  

My greatest weapon becomes my greatest downfall. How do I destroy the box?